The MysticX :the forgotten foe
A good, old friend of mine accused me of not being sincere in my blog. He is of the opinion that I have not mentioned the most influential person in my life (in his opinion), which influenced my mind for a span of about 2 years. The person that my friend is referring to is the founder guru of a mystic cult that I have been associated with for 2 years. What follows is the transcript of the conversation between Good’ol’friend and me.

Me: I will blog as and how I feel from the time I started the blog. I wont go back to the past

Gud’ol Friend: these people, I can bet have not influenced as much as MysticX. He is still very much a contender in the list.

Me: MysticX HAD influenced, these men ARE STILL influencing me. See, that’s the difference.

Gud’ol Friend: But the lines in ur blog say. These five individuals have influenced me the most in the life that I have lived so far. That’s the very first line.

Me: exactly. So far, MysticX didn’t come so far, in my mind. He just died in the way.

Gud’ol Friend: The blog says, I have lived so far and not in my mind?

Me: the meaning of "I" is your mind. The identity of a person is his body and his memory. You change one aspect, you get a different person altogether. Suppose u manipulate the memory and u manipulate his genes or body attributes as such, then u will get an altogether different person.

Gud’ol Friend: hmm true, yeah that’s true but that appears true only for that person. But doesn’t the outer world treat that person as the same person? Dont we refer a person who has lost his memory to be the same person

Me: Exactly. So there is a 3rd aspect to identity. That is its relationship with other identities. But then as and how body, memory change so do the relationships. Everything needs to refresh itself. Today we are friends, good friends but tomorrow we might or might not be that good or that bad. 4yrs back we didn’t even know each other. You might have been an altogether different person today, if u would have never met me. A man to others is known by the choices he makes and that is the only aspect of me that u can see, my choices. A mans identity is reflected in the choices he makes.
Choices of words to speak, topics of discussion, food, clothes, likes and dislikes, friends, movies, music, books and every simple thing that he does.
You are stuck in the past, and you are blaming me for not being there with you.

Gud’ol Friend: me struck in the past? How and what made you say that?

Me: You are the one who is digging the graves. It takes a lot of guts to change. To accept what is given by others’ identity is easy. The greatest of men are those who make the most difficult and rational of choices.

Gud’ol Friend: but for whatever present that you are in or whatever future you are going to have, past is the only that is the Truth or the one that’s the most stable thing. Burying the past doesn’t mean that there wasn’t any past at all. I , in no way want to say that you are wrong with the choices that u have made. I just wanted to say that MysticX had, in fact, influenced you the most of these people and he deserves a place in that list.

Me: I thought like a kid 4 yrs back, always trying to be submissive and not critical. You are talking of a time when I had not started criticising MysticX.

Gud’ol Friend: yes but it was still you who had made the choices and you can’t deny that. It was your choice to be submissive

Me: Today I choose not to think as I thought that time. I simply can’t respect him even if I try hard. I just cant and that was not the case then. Today I don’t give a damn who that MysticX was or what his teaching was. The men I talk of in the blog have never lied to me or have never been inconsistent. I followed MysticX for 2yrs and then I realise that he was a great liar all the time. u want me to add him in the list that he cannot even linger around. At one point of time, negatively influenced, by an irrational hypnotist- Do you call that influence? If I chose at some point of time, out of ignorance, to drink poison, you want me to praise that poison. The poison attracted me, used me, and harmed me, for 2 yrs and you want me to praise it? Now when I ve realised that its poison?

Gud’ol Friend: but is it false that you had infact, chosen to drink it

Gud’ol Friend: that’s all what i wanted to hear from you. That it was your choice
Me: In school I was inspired by Hitler’s ideas for a year, by choice. I started believing that all Jews must be eliminated and lower classes must not exist. They must be killed. That only Aryans had a moral right to rule the world. And then I realised one day that I am a Dravidian and not an Aryan. I then started to find the cracks in the roof that was over me. Before the roof collapsed and claimed my life, I escaped.



Gud’ol Friend: but i dont think u started conquering and fighting like he did. They were never practical. They were only your thoughts. I don’t think that had any effect on your life style, did it? Had u started growing the moustache or holding gun. (Laughs). I don’t know about other things. You know I am ignorant in those things.

Me: You will always be. You are stuck in time.

Gud’ol Friend: but u can’t deny one thing about you. I still stand by what i had said.

Me: that roof that was going to collapse on me and take my life, you want me to acknowledge the shelter that it provided?

Gud’ol Friend: but you can’t deny that it had infact provided the shelter. Can u deny that? Although may be it was not for good.

Me: The story of relationship that has lasted needs to be told and not that of a traitor who posed as a friend, promised me gifts and left me like a coward in the battlefield. That was MysticX.

Gud’ol Friend: You are again changing the topic. But it was you who choose to be his friend. You can’t deny that.

Me: You haven’t read the blog properly. it says that these men are like rivers flowing in my mind coming from different directions. They have met in my mind. I am going to take this confluence forwards but the river called MysticX has dried out long before, 2 and 1/2 yrs back. It has never found its way to the confluence.

Gud’ol Friend: You better say these are the people who have influenced u NOW or at this point of time.

Me: These are the people who have always stood by me. They’ve never left me.

Gud’ol Friend: who knows, who might b a traitor among these men and leave u in the battlefield tomorrow.

Me: that remains to be seen, but they have made it to the confluence, and that’s important.

Gud’ol Friend: true you thought about MysticX too in a same way for quite a period of time.

Me: never! He always had problems to join this river.

Gud’ol Friend: until may be you read different books. These are your thoughts, which have changed but he hasn't.

Me: I have always been talking about me. My identity. It’s been "i" all the time. I never talked through YOUR tongue.

Gud’ol Friend: Yes...for whatever reason. It’s something in "YOU" that has changed, then why blame him. He still stands by his word.

Me: I am not blaming him or anyone. I am just talking about myself, the way I see things. Read that in the blog, i ve mentioned at the top.